People fall short of achieving their goals for three-reasons:
1) unclear goals
2) ineffective pursuit of goals and
3) a combination of both
Why you may ask do most people not clearly define their goals or pursue them effectively. You may say its simply because they are not aware that they need to have crystal clear goals and to pursue them constantly in order to succeed. Whilst this is true at one level the real answer relates to the self-image.
We all have a self image, the mental picture of ourselves that we carry around in our minds containing details of our abilities and traits as well as our physical appearance.
You need to know two things about the self-image. Firstly, that every individual always acts in accordance with his/her self-image. Secondly, 99% of people have the problem of an inadequate self image. Lets look at both those statements in turn.
Firstly we always act in accordance with our self-image. So if an individual believes himself to be brave, persistent, friendly or a fast learner this is how he will behave. That’s great you may say for the lucky individual who believes himself to have the above listed good qualities but what about someone who doesn’t. Or even sees himself as the possessor of negative qualities.
The person who does not currently believe himself to have the good qualities he desires can change that situation; it can be done simply by changing his thoughts and ideas in the right way.
Here is an example- the person who tells himself I must stop smoking but continues to smoke. Thinking that I must stop smoking causes our smoker to reinforce his mental image of himself as just that a smoker, the very thing that he does not want to be.
Our thoughts are creative and the smoker mentioned above has unwittingly used his to reinforce the very situation that he wanted to change.
So what did he need to do? To think of and mentally picture himself as the happy non-smoker that he wanted to become. Why? Although we are consciously aware of our self-image to change it we must contact and instruct our unconscious level of mind. We must follow two rules in order to successfully communicate with our unconscious mind. These are that all communications most be positive and in the present tense.
Negatives cannot be understood or responded to by the unconscious mind. Therefore given the instruction stop smoking it hears only smoking. To the smokers dismay smoking continues or may even increase. A correct form of words could be ” I enjoy being a non-smoker” which is positive and in the present tense.
The same applies with positive qualities that you might like to acquire to make your journey towards your goals smooth and enjoyable. For example, if your goal relates to making more sales you could communicate a suggestion to your unconscious mind to the effect that you enjoy interacting with people and helping them make buying decisions. Or if you are learning a new skill you could suggest to yourself that you have the qualities of patience and perseverance.
You would choose the quality that is most useful to you currently. Work on acquiring this quality until you have succeeded then move on to the next one on your wish list and so on.
To be successful in life we need to be to do and to have in that order. In other words acquire the qualities that allow you to behave in the way that you want to, to be persistent or outgoing for example to have the house, car, lifestyle that we want. Many people try to acquire the outward signs of success without first working on the necessary qualities and behaviours. This is always a mistake.
Finally you have probably heard the expression “a picture is worth a thousand words” this is doubly true when it comes dealing with your unconscious mind and creating a positive self image.Using mental pictures will make acquiring your desired personal qualities happen at greater speed.
Want to know more about improving your self image? Contact Eileen Edwards Psychologist/Advanced Hypnotherapist for your free report “The Willpower Myth”. You can email her at email@example.com. Eileen also has a website http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk this site deals purely with relationships.
Filed under: Baby Language
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